Most of my life I have tried to make sense of the world and I dare to say that I started asking the "important" questions sooner then most people i have met. I would say that I have over 10 years of observing experience and knowledge, however it came with a price - when you observe life, you are not living it. I am living it now, as well as I know how to. But I still have a Programmer in me who tries to put everything into perfect order and make sense of it. What has changed in the programming part is that I now see myself as part of the program. I see that due to my experience and observations I tend to have a different view on some of the things we see in life. True, sometimes they are naive and maybe even stupid views, but time to time there might be pearls, that can be helpful for someone else - at least that is how I see it.
As I have grown a lot recently I see life as a stage for development with aim to be at peace with yourself. By development I do not mean something work related, but hope that when it is your time to go you know who You are and you can look at yourself in the mirror without any regrets and that you can also be happy and at peace with yourself when you are still on the road.
I was asked for some relationship advice on Monday and I realized that my view on relationships might be quite uncommon. I do not get the idea of true-love-one-and-only. I see every relationship as a state where both of the sides learn something new about themselves and also about the world because of the partner - an area for personal growth for both. This goes about every relationship - work, friendship, family. However we are all different and we all have our way. Therefore every relationship works only in the momentum, only in this exact time when your roads are similar or next to each other. Maybe it will work like this for years to come, maybe not. No-one knows.
People want happy relationships to last forever. It is nice and cute, but you should not lose yourself in it.
Carpe diem - you have what you have in this day. Do not try to plan it is a lifetime commitment - it is a commitment now, the future might be different and all you can do is hope that you are still both going on the same way.
When you start to feel that you are worthless without your partner, friend or family member you have already lost the game. You must love and take care of yourself first - only then you can love others. Try to do as many things in your life and relationship because you want to. Honesty with yourself is the main key.
As
AFP said it
"first thought upon waking today: the people i find myself
actually wanting to get to know are those who are trying to get to know
themselves.
a true friend is a compassionate collaborator in the endless search for meaning."
We all have our demons to take care of and this is work for one. With every win, we change. With every change, our relationships change. Change is the only constant.
So for me the idea of being with this one and only person forever-and-ever-and-ever seems at the moment unreal and unlikely. It can happen only when both of the sides have all the same demons (that is impossible ) or have faced their biggest personal demons and are peace with themselves that they walk on the same road, balanced, side by side.
And maybe this post made no sense at all, maybe it did. Yours to decide.
Cheers!
