I love it that the word Present has two meanings -the period of time that is happening now and something presented as a gift - and I try to see it as two in one.
The Present is a gift if you are in it.
But usually we aren't. Usually we are in our heads.
Thinking creates a new world in
our minds and eventually you will have to choose, weather you are in the real
world or in your head. Because, and here’s the tricky part, you can not be in
two places at the same time.
If you think hard you do not notice everything
that’s going on around you – and vice versa.
And there are so many things that can go wrong
like that.
For example you are at a party,
having a nice time, lots of booze and you try to stay in the conversation, but
the booze kicks in and slows your mind. So you are constantly off and behind
the topic.
Friend 1: “Did you know that
Lucy finished the business school last week?”
Friend 2:”Well that’s really great.
She was working really hard for it.”
Friend 3:”Her parents must be
proud.”
Friend 4: “She will like
totally get a better job now.”
YOU:”I. Like. Elephants. Too.”
… awkward silence …
The other thing we do is that
we take our thoughts as real as the real world.We say things like “I know you cheated on me!
I know you did!”
Do you really? Were you there?
Did you see it? Were you hiding in the closet and watching?
Or do you just think you know?
In that case you should say something like:
“I think that you cheated on me, but I do not know for sure. It’s just a
thought in my mind. And my mind is like a totally different dimension. It is
not real world. So I am asking you –just to be sure -if you did it or not.”
And if she was here now, she
would say “But I have proof!”
Of course you do. When we are
sure about something, we will always find proof for it. This is called
programming: we just set a filter to see things how we want to see them. A neurotic person does not search for a cure,
but for affirmation to his or her neurosis – that’s just how it is.
In this situation you might be
right but you might also be wrong.
By cognitive behavioral therapy thinking is the cause of emotions. We see or experience something, we interpret it and this causes emotions. The situation is never cause of emotions, the interpretation (thinking process) is. If you hear some people talking in a foreign language that you do not understand you might think "They are surely talking about how stupid I look" and feel bad about it. Or you might also think "They must be talking about how nice I look" and you smile and are happy.
Both of these results are irrational, not related to reality itself, but if you want to change something, I would suggest changing the negative thoughts - these are the ones that give you misery.
Some people believe that their
predictions are so accurate that they end up doing nothing – just watching
telly, getting ready for the end of the world and ordering delivery fast-food
-, afraid to leave the home. “I’m just
fine at my home with my telly.” It is
quite ironic thing to think, as most deaths occur at home environment.
Indeed, if you cross the road
you might get hit by a car. But also you might not get hit by a car. You can’t
be sure before you try it. We do not know what will or will not happen.
Nostradamus did, but he was also nuts as a coconut.
We like to think that thinking
solves problem, while in reality it will most likely cause more problems. You
can solve problems only by DOING stuff.
And when it comes to doing, you can not change the past or the future. We are perfect in the future aren't we - we exercise regularly, take care of our health and never miss the date of our homework. Present is the only time when you can do and change something - knowing it is a powerful feeling. Even when the future time comes, it is still present then.
We pride ourselves for being "Oh so smart".
You know this feeling when you have some important stuff
happening in the morning and you are unable to sleep the night before, because
you are unable to stop your thoughts? Is this a smart thing to do? And does this aid you in any way on the
important day? Most likely not, you will just be tired and might be
unsuccessful because of thinking, because you did not get enough rest.
How fucking smart is that?
The problem is that we have the gift of thought, but most of the time we are not using it wisely.
It has a lot of mistakes in it, while we ourselves assume that we are just rational human beings (Great examples of the mistakes we make can be found in Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely)
I can not deny that we also get a lot From thinking. We are able to create plans, invent and test, so on and forth. All of the stuff we use every day is there because someone first thought it out.
Thinking is a gift, but so is the present and we should try to keep a healthy balance between them - otherwise we can miss so much in our life.
And that's all I wanted to say this time.
Cheers!
If you think your kid has sticky fingers, you have never high fived a gecko.
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