The Silence

The last show on Tilt started with a lecture that was held by a professor of the University of Tallinn. After the lecture, the actors started with the play - taking inspiration from it (format The Wunderkammer by Do Not Adjust Your Stage).

During the lecture however I noticed how different the attitude on the stage was. I am not saying that the lecture was bad. Not at all. What I am saying is that there were nuances there that I do not see with the improvisers.

I have provided lectures myself at work and at school, years ago. I remember how scary it was to stand on the stage alone. Hell with it, I have even tried stand-up and it was even scarier.

The silence of people staring at you and waiting you to mess up (at least that was how I felt it) making you tremble on the spot and killing your nerves.

I am not sure if I can really do it alone on stage at the moment (should practice that), but when I am there with a group, I enjoy the silence. The silence means that the audience is listening. It means the audience is waiting. It means that they are engaged. The longer the silence the better the  release of the waiting tension. All you have to do is accept and own the silence.

True, there are also improvisers who do not like the silence and who do not use it on stage - filling in every empty spot they could find with a joke or pun. It is fun, true that, but it will never ever engage audience in the story. They will laugh but they will not care about the characters. It is just fun.

Only with silence and being in the present can you create a tension needed for human connection. Silence and slow pace gives us time to feel (well maybe some people have faster feelings, but I need time for them), it gives us time to connect and reflect.



As we sometimes fill in the stage to prevent the uncomfortable feeling of tension raising, we do the same in our lives. It is easier to check your mobile phone or listen to music than to really fully be in a situation that is not too interesting or pleasant. I used to have a wrist watch that I always checked when I was feeling uncomfortable as if knowing the time gave me more power over the situation.
However there is no growth like that, all you do is to avoid the reality.

I sometimes also feel that people talk too much.

We have small talk, big talk and ... well ... medium talk I guess. We fill our lives with never ending flow of words. The irony is that while we talk a lot, we still do not say out the things that we really want to say out - we still do not say the things we feel, the things that really matter.

I remember that Pratchett once talked about how he was most connected with his father when his father got a diagnose and had up to a year to live. If the time is sacred you will use it wisely. However not all of us get advance notice of death.
The understanding that people will perish at some moment and so will we should make us more connected. However, it is a heavy burden to bare. It makes life so much more painful but also more connected, more human.

These things are uncomfortable, just as the silence, but without them, there would be no meaning for anything else.

Light needs darkness, flow of words needs silence, activity needs boredom.